Reaching the end

Its coming to the end of the holidays,
I have worked solidly for it, and as my last update shows, am going insane, absolutely insane. I have not enough time, but i have so much to do.

But i am using this blog to talk about lottie.

Lottie is one of my best friends, she has been mentioned before, perhaps not in the best light, but i have to write this about her, because she needs everyone right now. She's having a bad time at the moment, and she needs a lots of hugs.

I've known her since i was 14 years old, and the first memory i have of her is coming back from durham in a coach full of screaming 13, 14 and 15 year olds, she drew a heart on my face with lipstick. This will stay with me forever.

She's a good friend, and i love her for it.

I'm writing this for her, and i don't have long!

She's beating her self up at the moment because of her and her ex-boyfriend, and he loved her and she left him for his own good and now he's having none of it and BLLLLLLLEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHH

I love them both, they're my amigos. And i want them to be therefore each other forever. But i am no Cupid, i am no Hitch. If i was, i would not be fieldmarshal James Alexander Hoggarth of the legion of single men and women.

back to the story.

I can not say much more about lottie. I have undying love for her, she is my best female friend, and i would walk to the moon and back for her, and she knows this. Even if she isn't feeling good right now, i want her to know that i love her. I love her so much. And im sitting here, im thinking about her, and how fragile she must be feeling and i just want to hold her. she is so small, so perfect, i could hold her in my hand, and she would be safe from the world. But she has a huge personality, she is vibrant, and bubbly, and always up for a good time, and i hope, i hope that this never goes. Your not a bad person, your a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful and i wouldn't trade you for anyone. I'm going to miss you next year, if it was down to me, i'd stay another year just so i could make sure you pass your a levels.
i find that with all my female friends, i am compelled to hurt men that hurt them. You guys know how angry i can become. i have often thought about the times i will fight men in the future, and how i shall not give up.


Lottie, i know your reading this. I love you. I love you so much. I never want to see you unhappy. Ever.

That is why i should mention the time when i got a text from her, i went to see her and she was in floods. She cried and cried and cried to me, and to Emma. I have never seen a woman cry like this before, not over a friend of mine. ANd i swear that i will put this right in the future. I was fuming when this happened. Fuming. I have never wanted to hurt someone so much before and i hope with every bone in my body that i never do again.

And that is what i think of you.
You have made me who i am. You have directly made me the man i am.
I have not spoken of what i felt for you when we were younger here. This is not because i can't bring myself to do it. But because you could never, and will never be mine.

I love you so much as a friend, and you will always have a place in my heart.
Now stop beating yourself up, your starting to make me cry, and we don't want that. You'd be the third girl in your year in your house to do that. I'll explain another time. You comforted me one of those times. ANd i thank you for it. The first time, i wish i had been stabbed, i honestly do, and now i think about it, i feel like a fool, but you were there for me, and i love you for it. I always have done, and always will do.

I have often made the wrong choice, but sticking by you was always the right one.

I love you all, but today, especially lottie.

Song of the day: No song
Quote of the day: No quote

Today is all about you lottie. Not some song, or some quote.
Your the best
xxxx