note: carousel couches use underdog drowning reunion resorts

Hey Jack it's me,
I don't mean to bother you but somethings been on my mind.
At the end of this road that climbs the horizon will be reached in a matter of miles.
And when the wheels cease to spin the walls and the fences will grow higher than redwood trees.
And I know your demise.
And I fear what will happen when the road fails to flow under me.
Oh Jack you see, I felt like your mirror with the wind whipping through my hair.
When the wheels ceased to spin and I cased my surroundings, I realized I hadn't gone anywhere.
When the problems I'd left with couches in alleys, where no one would ever claim.
And the hardest part was sifting through the pieces of the rain soaked and rotten remains when I got home.

Song lyrics

Fucking great song. Couches in allies by styrofoam. Please, go find it on itunes or youtube before you continue reading, and when it runs out, play it again. Its the perfect song for what i'm about to write.

I'm sure you guys all do this, but i've just been reading all my, you're a twat emails from a few former people that i have either been with, or that i've wanted to be with.
Its also made me remember friends i've not spoken to in a little while. There's a few people i miss, who i just want to talk to be friends like we used to be. Again i need to thank, well you know who you are, you've made me realise that perhaps i should remember my old friends before i look to start brand new one's.

I dunno.

Andrew, not sure if you're gonna read this mate, but i definitely think we should hit either nice or buenos aires in october. Would be fucking awesome. We can take your speakers, and find some awesome bars, and some girls, you know where this is going amigo. Lovely latina girls.

Innit.

And once again, my foot hurts, i have destroyed my toe.
Anyway, i'm gonna see what happens.

I never did do that apologies session, i think i might do that now.

To Elizabeth Jamieson,
I'm terribly sorry, i know you think that i am a hideous person, and i know im a bastard, and i know i don't deserve George's friendship. I'm an arsehole.
(That one's an old one)

To Catherine Sullivan,
I'm sorry for what i did to you. And i'm sorry that i ruined one of your friendships. And i'm sorry that i didn't listen to you. I should have just kept my mouth shut and pretended that i didn't happen. You're a great person, and by getting with you, i ruined our friendship.

To Sarah Stewart,
I do dumb stuff when i'm drunk. That includes sending emails to you saying i like you.... a lot. I may have scared you off, and i wouldn't be surprised. And i'm sorry that i tried to get with you. I'm a fool, and i scared you away, probably with a little bit of help from some of your friends who are less friendly to me.

To Lucy Oliver,
I'm a twat, a massive cunt. And i should have just fallen for you when you fell for me. Its not like i planned to get with Catherine, or to really like Emma, its just that i did. I'm sorry that i couldn't give you what you wanted. And i know that seeing me almost everyday was hard for you. I'm a fool, and i don't deserve to live because of how badly i fucked with you.

To Emma Sweet,
haha. This is going to be a long one he says to himself. I should probably just dive straight in. You meant everything to me, and you know that. I sat up and spoke to you almost everynight for a year because i honestly felt something could happen between us. And i told you you were beautiful, and i told you that no one, not a single person on this planet can tell you otherwise, because i just told you that you were. You made me believe in myself, and i've changed my mind. There were once 3 things that i wanted for you, and i said number 3, a kiss, was what i wanted most. But i've changed my mind. What i want most is for you to be more confident in yourself. You're a beautiful person, both inside, and outside. And anyone who says otherwise is blind. You have my heart, you always had my heart, and you probably always will have a piece of it. I miss you. I think about you everyday. You're the best and next year is going to be an uphill battle for me. Whether its a uni, or doing something else, you will always be on my mind. You were the first person i say when i finished my exams, and i just wanted to run up and hug you, and hold you. You mean everything to me and i've realised that that was an emotion i've been feeling for you for a long time. However, i must let you go. There is a better man for you than this washed up dickhead.

To George Style,
Sup man. Long time no speak. I'm sorry that i said them horrible things to you, i don't deserve your friendship, as Libby was fast to point out. You're a good man, and i thank you for introducing me to new friends at the beginning of the year. You're a good man, and i'm going to miss you.

There are others that i should apologize to, but i honestly don't want to with them. They either fucked me over, or its so far in the past that i feel that perhaps its not worth it. I also know that i'm probably never going to talk to them again so it doesn't matter.

To Charlotte Wildblood,
I know i've angered you before, and i know that i've hurt you before, and that we've only really lashed out at each other once properly before, over George coincidently, but you know what, i'm sorry for that, and for anything bad i ever did to you. You're like the little sister i'd rather have. I mean i love the one i do have, but i'd rather have you as one. No offence to her.

To Jessica Groocock,
Didn't think i'd forget you did you? :)
I'm sorry if i've made any of you're current relationships awkward. I took me a little while lastnight to come to agree with you're judgement, but its ok, i accept it, and i hope we will meet again one day.

To Kelly Nicholson,
You're in Vietnam, but i'm sorry that i was a total douchebag the few times we met up, i genuinely liked you, and when we met up i only went and got pissed. I'm not a pisshead, honest.

To Hatty Giles,
I'm sorry that i dropped off the radar for a few years, and that i tried to get with you. If i'd known then you know i wouldn't have done. And i was a little embarrassing for me, i'd not realised that simply me attempting to get with a woman could turn her homosexual, just shows how good a kisser i am. You did however prove just how shallow i am, for which i thank you.

To Bella Ruffell,
Kiss me its Christmas actually seemed to work. I'm sorry that i didn't make more of an effort to get some stability between you and me, i like you, and you're one of my best friends, and perhaps it wouldn't have been for the best. But im still sorry that i got with you, i think you were seeing someone, and i know that the only person for you is Jack..... or Edward, and therefore i'm sorry that i complicated you're life.

Shit, thats quite a lot.

To Natasha Evans,
You probably haven't guessed but i was talking about you above, i miss you, we havent spoken for ages and i really enjoyed the time we spent together. When we built the snowman, and stood in the rain and waited for your taxi, and discussed basic differentiation because your previous school was full of retards. I'm sorry that i've let our relationship crumble, these exams have sort of stopped me having a social life, and its sucked not seeing you. I mean i know where i find you.... New car park, most lunchbreaks/game times. Predictable Tash. But yeah, i'm sorry that our friendship has deteriorated as it has. I should have built the foundations stronger, and for that i'm eternally sorry.

To Olivia Griffiths,
I'm sorry that i offended you, even if you were and are one of my greatest supporters. You're a great friend, and i'm goin to miss you, i think one of the reasons that we gelled is taht oddly enough, you're doing the same uni course that my dad did, media at Goldsmiths. Great minds. But i'm sorry i offended you.

To Abby Barber,
I'm sor..... fuck that, you're a massive bitch and i hope you rot in hell you child rapist.

Having apologized, i have now changed song, that last one was fucking awesome, but i'm now listening to papa roach, last resort, so everything is looking a little better.

This song, and Ezio's family by Jesper Kyd are fucking amazing. And the later i want played at my funeral, because i'm that fucking awesome.
Anyway, i feel so much better having done that. But honestly i'm truly sorry to all of you that i've hurt, and i'm sorry to all those who i haven't mentioned above for fucking your lives up. Its not really what i generally try to do, i just do sometimes.

I've realised that theres someone i've missed. Mainly because i'm listening to the wrong songs.

To Annabel Ottilie Lloyd-Thomas,
One word describes me. Or one word should. Complete and utter cunt. You should laugh at me, for how i faunted myself. How i made myself look like a fool infront of you, how i fucked your life up. How i made problems for you, how i pretended to be someone i wasn't just to impress you. You saw through my fakeness. And i fear that we will never see one another again. Hardly surprising really. I'm a total cunt like that and i don't really deserve the friends that i have. I remember you sitting on my knee and playing on my phone. I miss those days. And i'm the fool that will have to pay for them. I could use somebody, someone like you.
If you've not got the song yet, check the lable, and the title, and if you still don't have it. Then you're fucking stupid.
Back to Tillie. Yeah, i'm sorry. You deserve better than me, and you have done better than me.


Yep, i feel a little better now.

(George and Tillie, i hope to not offend either of you, put in Charlie pulls a stunt like what he did that one time, then i'm going to break his pretty little jaw before knocking the cunt unconsious.)

(And Pete, stop hating me, i only threatened to you once, that doesn't mean you should be a pussy about it).

That ruined the moment. But then, i am listening to MCR now, so its hardly surprising!

Its taken me nearly an hour to write this fucker!

I love no word limits.

Anyway, thats the apology section sorted, no doubt i'll do another one at some point. Because i can.

I may also be requiring a few favours from my readers in the next few days. I'm quite tempted to see how big i can make this fucker. See how many readers i can get, how many people i can get reading this. Not yet, but i may have to ask some of you to give my address out to some friends who've never met me, and to see what happens. I know this is shameless plugging for views, but i honestly don't care anymore. I might be able to make a little money off this, and if you do me good, i'll shove some in your direction. I alraedy have a holiday to argentina to raise funds for, and following last week i may need to get some money together for another year in captiva. As well as uni and all that (if i get in).

Which i doubt.

Anyway, its 2.30am, i should probably get some sleep, im getting up in 4.30 hours, and if my dream is anything like lastnights, then i should have been asleep hours ago.

But before i go, there's just enough time for carousel by blink 182, personally i prefer the buddha version, the accoustic guitar at the beginning kicks ass.

OM MY GOD, THATS SOME FUNKY SHIT - Kittiah.

And before you all bugger off this page, i'd just like to add, that i love you all, and even though tiredness is now in control of my hands, i still hope all of you do well in your exams, and that you'll forgive me for being the massive cunt that i am.
You got to remember, that if it wasn't me being a massive cunt, it'd be someone else. Probably Arthur Thomas. I hate that guy, now he is a massive cunt. I'm going to kill that bastard one day. Or if not that at least break his jaw. He is a massive cunt. a massive ass cunt. Speaking of these people, the kid who thinks that everyone loves him, hugh johnson-gilbert decided to delete me from his facebook friends list. The main reason for this is because i punched him in the jaw at leavers ball doing some damage. I don't know what it is, but school field really does seem to be a great house for breeding total arseholes in. Its true, with both Arthur, and Hugh, or as im going to call them. Cunt 1, and cunt 2, this house seems to be a hive, it creates cunts, its like a cunt breeding machine. As as Team America taught me, and thanks to something Tash once told me, i have the power to fuck these cunts, because i am male, and therefore, by definition, can't help being a dick. hah. So i say that, at this reunion in september, that anyone who is eligible for going, basically me a george, we should get stacked this holiday, i have started, you may wish to, and then fuck those shitbags right over at this reunion thing in september, and if they don't come, then we will have succeeded in 2 ways, 1 they will have left without fighting, showing they are cowards, and 2. We'll be stacked. Everyone loves stacked guys.

Fucking foolproof.

And thats about it.
I'm no longer in Captiva, i'm in Orlando, fun times. and basically that means, i'm going to continue to be fucking awesome.

This is were i used to say i love you all, but basically, i don't. I'm now going to change this to, Arthur Thomas and Hugh Johnson-Gilbert are cunts.

Arthur Thomas and Hugh Johnson-Gilbert are cunts.

x