I had written xomething about how angry i was with my parents, but my internet deleted everything.
cunts.
Sunday, 22 August 2010
Wednesday, 18 August 2010
Judgement day
The time has come.
The question is, do you believe in yourself? Because if you believe in yourself, you can do anything.
Shall i tell you where i read that? I read that, twice, off 2 fortune cookies, from different chinese restaurants, different chains, and different states in the USA. Coincidence? I've never been one to believe in too much coincidence. And this is certainly that. Self belief, that is what i'm lacking. Fear is also apart of it. Still.
Once more into the breach dear friends. Tomorrow is the day that the last 18 odd years of your lives have been leading up to. Tomorrow is the day that you should all be looking forward to. The day you should all be dreading. The day that defines you, Defines everything you have been and defines everything you will be, everything you will ever be. Now are you gonna take it like a man, or is it going to be the last thing that you ever do?
The time has come. It is my turn to take responsibilities for my actions.
The dream might end tomorrow, and if it does, than i thank you all. It has been amazing, and i would not have changed it for anything..... Well maybe a few bits would be changed.
I'm watching the matrix. I have scotch. I;m wearing my smoking jacket. This is what its come to.
Good night boys.
And when its over. May the pain be fast, and the rewards sweet.
xx
The question is, do you believe in yourself? Because if you believe in yourself, you can do anything.
Shall i tell you where i read that? I read that, twice, off 2 fortune cookies, from different chinese restaurants, different chains, and different states in the USA. Coincidence? I've never been one to believe in too much coincidence. And this is certainly that. Self belief, that is what i'm lacking. Fear is also apart of it. Still.
Once more into the breach dear friends. Tomorrow is the day that the last 18 odd years of your lives have been leading up to. Tomorrow is the day that you should all be looking forward to. The day you should all be dreading. The day that defines you, Defines everything you have been and defines everything you will be, everything you will ever be. Now are you gonna take it like a man, or is it going to be the last thing that you ever do?
The time has come. It is my turn to take responsibilities for my actions.
The dream might end tomorrow, and if it does, than i thank you all. It has been amazing, and i would not have changed it for anything..... Well maybe a few bits would be changed.
I'm watching the matrix. I have scotch. I;m wearing my smoking jacket. This is what its come to.
Good night boys.
And when its over. May the pain be fast, and the rewards sweet.
xx
Sunday, 15 August 2010
atmosphere
They love the taste of blood
Now I don't know what that means, but I know that I mean it
Maybe they're as evil as they seem
Or maybe I only look out the window when it's scenic
"Atmosphere finally made a good record."
Yeah right, that shit almost sounds convincing
The last time I felt a sinking contradictive as this
Was the last time we played a show in Cinnci'
"Get real." they tell me
If only they knew how real this life really gets
They would stop acting like a silly bitch
They would respect the cock whether or not they believed in it
Doesn't take much and that's messed up
Because these people do a lot of simple shit to impress us
While everyone was trying to out-do the last man
I was just a ghost trying to catch someone's[summers?] Pac-man
Hello ma'am, would you be into restin'
In some sexual positions and emotional investments
See, I'm not insane, in fact I'm kind of rational
When I be askin', "Yo, where did all the passion go?"
East coast, West coast, down South, Midwest
Nowadays everybody knows how to get fresh
Somebody give me a big yes (YES!)
God Bless America, but she stole the B from "Bless" (Accept it)
Now I'm too fucked up to dance
So I'ma sit with my hand down the front of my pants
You can't achieve your goals if you don't take that chance
So go pry open that trunk and get those amps (You know!)
In the days of Kings and Queens I was a jester
Treat me like a God, oh they treat me like a leper
You see me move back and forth between both
I'm trying to find a balance
I'm trying to build a balance
So now I keep a close eye on my pets
Because they make most of they moves off of instinct and sense
It's eat, sleep, fuck in self defense
So straight you can set your clocks and place bets
Wait, let's prey on blind, deaf, dumb, dead
Hustle, maybe a couple will love what you said
Emcees drag their feet across a big naked land
With an empty bag of seed and a fake shake of hands
Yeah I got some last words, FUCK ALL OF YA'LL!
Stop writin' raps and go play volleyball
Gotta journey the world in a hurry
Cause my attorney didn't put enough girls on the jury
Guilty of droppin' these bombs in the city
But I'm innocent, love is the motive that's why you're killin 'em
Guilty of settin' my fire in all fifty
But I'm innocent, blame it on my equilibrium
In the days of Kings and Queens I was a jester
Treat me like a God, oh they treat me like a leper
You see me move back and forth between both
I'm trying to find a balance
I'm trying to build a balance
I gotta find my balance
I gotta find my balance
Now all my friends are famous
It's either one thing or another
They all don't know what my name is
Probably know both of my brothers
The one is a hard workin' savior
The other's a hard workin' soldier
I'm just your next door neighbor
Workin' hard at tryin' to stay sober
You wait for the car at the corner
Pretend like you know what the pot is
Won't quit till I hit California
And make you my Golden State goddess
the lyrics to trying to find a balance by atmosphere. its a sick song, and he's a sick artist.
I'm still in the USA. I'm back in a few days, in time for results. Good luck my friends. We may not all survive this. If anyone needs help making last minute arrangements then i can help.
yummyjobs.com
we can all go work in disney world florida for a few months.
Butyeah, that song is kind of truthful, cos i am trying to find a balance. I'm not sure whats ahead, and so i need to steady my ship. Im in uncharted waters and i've got a feeling that shits about to go down. The seas currently a little choppy, and its clouding over. The question is, is it light english rain, or is it a south east asian typhoon?
Shit.
But yeah, if its not good, then im guilty as charged. Its me who did the exams, no one else. Its my fault if they go wrong. Except for pre-u maths. That was fucking ridiculous and if i dont get my predicted grade im gonna go smash up some windows at the uni. My mother is ok with this.
ha.
suck it cambridge.
I havent been to the gym for 3 weeks, ive lost about 3 pounds of muscle. I feel weak. my guns have shrunk. I've gone from p490's to glocks. One day, i will have the ak-47 body that i want. one day.
But whilst we've been in american i've seen some proper sites, whether it be a guy who looks exactly like the bloke off the hollister bag or a bloke who had the perfect 12 pack, and great pecks to match. Ive also seen a woman so fat, that when she sat down on a bench, her ass hung over both sides. We have a scale in our family called the 'fat-pass' scale. 1 is 'chubby'. 10 is 'call the japanese whaling fleet, this one's a big one'. Thats basically it. I've seen several 7's and 8's this month. The best has been a kid who was an 8 in its own right wearing a t-shirt with the cookie monster on it. I nearly died of laughter.
haha, im such a bastard. i used to be the fat kid, but i lost the weight. And now im putting back on the other way.
The other thing i've ralised this holiday is that breakfast is an overrated meal. it isn't really necessary, not is it that healthy for you. Chucking 400 calories into you're body for no reason. doesnt make much sense to me. Still, what do i know? late night meals on the other hand are usually alright.
Anyway, yeah, i'd just like to say well done to Andy Murray, who will from now on be called 'the Muzz', he's a set up against roger federer in the rogers cup final in toronto. good job andy.
Also well done Liverpool for their 1-1 draw with arsenal. Unlucky pepe, you couldnt have done anything about their goal. You're a great servant to the club, and in my opinion the best goalie in the world.
Also well done to the GB swimming team for kicking some ass in the swimming euros.
And good luck to England for the cricket next week, and to liverpool for their europa league game on thursday against trab -something turkish - or
But yeah, i'm a jester, treat me like a god, or treat me like a leper.
I'm gonna be in rome 2 weeks today. Can't wait. SPQR is the only group i'll ever follow. I've seen a bloke this week with an SPQR tattoo. Im jealous of him. I will probably get one at uni. I was sort of hoping that either one of my family would die or something big happened in my life so i could get one. I've probably already said this, but in the style of jim Brass, if i ever get shot or stabbed i'll get the date tattooed underneath it to remind me of how lucky i am.
Anyway, valete amigos meos.
x
Now I don't know what that means, but I know that I mean it
Maybe they're as evil as they seem
Or maybe I only look out the window when it's scenic
"Atmosphere finally made a good record."
Yeah right, that shit almost sounds convincing
The last time I felt a sinking contradictive as this
Was the last time we played a show in Cinnci'
"Get real." they tell me
If only they knew how real this life really gets
They would stop acting like a silly bitch
They would respect the cock whether or not they believed in it
Doesn't take much and that's messed up
Because these people do a lot of simple shit to impress us
While everyone was trying to out-do the last man
I was just a ghost trying to catch someone's[summers?] Pac-man
Hello ma'am, would you be into restin'
In some sexual positions and emotional investments
See, I'm not insane, in fact I'm kind of rational
When I be askin', "Yo, where did all the passion go?"
East coast, West coast, down South, Midwest
Nowadays everybody knows how to get fresh
Somebody give me a big yes (YES!)
God Bless America, but she stole the B from "Bless" (Accept it)
Now I'm too fucked up to dance
So I'ma sit with my hand down the front of my pants
You can't achieve your goals if you don't take that chance
So go pry open that trunk and get those amps (You know!)
In the days of Kings and Queens I was a jester
Treat me like a God, oh they treat me like a leper
You see me move back and forth between both
I'm trying to find a balance
I'm trying to build a balance
So now I keep a close eye on my pets
Because they make most of they moves off of instinct and sense
It's eat, sleep, fuck in self defense
So straight you can set your clocks and place bets
Wait, let's prey on blind, deaf, dumb, dead
Hustle, maybe a couple will love what you said
Emcees drag their feet across a big naked land
With an empty bag of seed and a fake shake of hands
Yeah I got some last words, FUCK ALL OF YA'LL!
Stop writin' raps and go play volleyball
Gotta journey the world in a hurry
Cause my attorney didn't put enough girls on the jury
Guilty of droppin' these bombs in the city
But I'm innocent, love is the motive that's why you're killin 'em
Guilty of settin' my fire in all fifty
But I'm innocent, blame it on my equilibrium
In the days of Kings and Queens I was a jester
Treat me like a God, oh they treat me like a leper
You see me move back and forth between both
I'm trying to find a balance
I'm trying to build a balance
I gotta find my balance
I gotta find my balance
Now all my friends are famous
It's either one thing or another
They all don't know what my name is
Probably know both of my brothers
The one is a hard workin' savior
The other's a hard workin' soldier
I'm just your next door neighbor
Workin' hard at tryin' to stay sober
You wait for the car at the corner
Pretend like you know what the pot is
Won't quit till I hit California
And make you my Golden State goddess
the lyrics to trying to find a balance by atmosphere. its a sick song, and he's a sick artist.
I'm still in the USA. I'm back in a few days, in time for results. Good luck my friends. We may not all survive this. If anyone needs help making last minute arrangements then i can help.
yummyjobs.com
we can all go work in disney world florida for a few months.
Butyeah, that song is kind of truthful, cos i am trying to find a balance. I'm not sure whats ahead, and so i need to steady my ship. Im in uncharted waters and i've got a feeling that shits about to go down. The seas currently a little choppy, and its clouding over. The question is, is it light english rain, or is it a south east asian typhoon?
Shit.
But yeah, if its not good, then im guilty as charged. Its me who did the exams, no one else. Its my fault if they go wrong. Except for pre-u maths. That was fucking ridiculous and if i dont get my predicted grade im gonna go smash up some windows at the uni. My mother is ok with this.
ha.
suck it cambridge.
I havent been to the gym for 3 weeks, ive lost about 3 pounds of muscle. I feel weak. my guns have shrunk. I've gone from p490's to glocks. One day, i will have the ak-47 body that i want. one day.
But whilst we've been in american i've seen some proper sites, whether it be a guy who looks exactly like the bloke off the hollister bag or a bloke who had the perfect 12 pack, and great pecks to match. Ive also seen a woman so fat, that when she sat down on a bench, her ass hung over both sides. We have a scale in our family called the 'fat-pass' scale. 1 is 'chubby'. 10 is 'call the japanese whaling fleet, this one's a big one'. Thats basically it. I've seen several 7's and 8's this month. The best has been a kid who was an 8 in its own right wearing a t-shirt with the cookie monster on it. I nearly died of laughter.
haha, im such a bastard. i used to be the fat kid, but i lost the weight. And now im putting back on the other way.
The other thing i've ralised this holiday is that breakfast is an overrated meal. it isn't really necessary, not is it that healthy for you. Chucking 400 calories into you're body for no reason. doesnt make much sense to me. Still, what do i know? late night meals on the other hand are usually alright.
Anyway, yeah, i'd just like to say well done to Andy Murray, who will from now on be called 'the Muzz', he's a set up against roger federer in the rogers cup final in toronto. good job andy.
Also well done Liverpool for their 1-1 draw with arsenal. Unlucky pepe, you couldnt have done anything about their goal. You're a great servant to the club, and in my opinion the best goalie in the world.
Also well done to the GB swimming team for kicking some ass in the swimming euros.
And good luck to England for the cricket next week, and to liverpool for their europa league game on thursday against trab -something turkish - or
But yeah, i'm a jester, treat me like a god, or treat me like a leper.
I'm gonna be in rome 2 weeks today. Can't wait. SPQR is the only group i'll ever follow. I've seen a bloke this week with an SPQR tattoo. Im jealous of him. I will probably get one at uni. I was sort of hoping that either one of my family would die or something big happened in my life so i could get one. I've probably already said this, but in the style of jim Brass, if i ever get shot or stabbed i'll get the date tattooed underneath it to remind me of how lucky i am.
Anyway, valete amigos meos.
x
Friday, 13 August 2010
2012
Watching the film 2012, and it suddenly dawned on me, shit this could be real.
I dislike disaster movies, but these things really do make me question my purpose in life, they make me question life as a whole. Question whether there is any life after this one, or if there was a God afterall. Would a God allow the world to go to shit? It also makes me question what the point of it was. I'll be 19 or 20 if this shit is real, and you know what, it makes you think whats the point? Sending kids to school, having kids. All of it. And it makes you think why did i bother with school, i could have lived my life, or tired to.
It is a great film, its one of the only one's i've seen that have given me proper goosebumbs. But its good. And there are some great bits. And you must, you must watch it.
haha, im trying to watch and type, its not working. Haha.
Anyway,
Good luck friends, and if the world does end in 2012, then see you all in the afterlife.
x
I dislike disaster movies, but these things really do make me question my purpose in life, they make me question life as a whole. Question whether there is any life after this one, or if there was a God afterall. Would a God allow the world to go to shit? It also makes me question what the point of it was. I'll be 19 or 20 if this shit is real, and you know what, it makes you think whats the point? Sending kids to school, having kids. All of it. And it makes you think why did i bother with school, i could have lived my life, or tired to.
It is a great film, its one of the only one's i've seen that have given me proper goosebumbs. But its good. And there are some great bits. And you must, you must watch it.
haha, im trying to watch and type, its not working. Haha.
Anyway,
Good luck friends, and if the world does end in 2012, then see you all in the afterlife.
x
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Gaming
Yep, i'm going to write a blog entry about gaming.
Basically you all fucked off, apart from Hatty.
Anyway children, if you're sitting quietly, i'll bore you senseless.
xbox lovers, i'm sure you've all already heard but Halo: Reach comes out later this year. Hatty's like drooling right now. Yeah, i've seen the reviews and it looks fucking awesome. They say its the final battle, so i'm sure its going to be fucking amazing.
Of course, the other 2 big games coming out for xbox, as well for a few other platforms are the big assassins creed: brotherhood, (basically i cum a little bit everytime i hear its name) and the mighty Fable: III which microsoft finally decided to allow to all the good normal PC users. (They may also make a Mac version so fuck you all you gaydow whores.)
Other big game coming out is CoD: Black Ops, the follow up to CoD 6, which we all loved. Again, coming out for Christmas, as with all the ones above.
Another game that looks fucking awesome is Mafia II, looks a little bit like a godfather game. Again they look great.
Max Payne 3 looks to be another game that you'll want to play.
And of course theres the good old fashioned Fifa 11. A game that just kicks ass.
And Wii is shit. Sucks to be you Andrew. Haha.
BAsically, this xmas is going to be fucking awesome.
I'm gonna drop a movie review at some point.
But a quick one now
-The Expendables, all the best action figures in one film, everyman will have a mangasm.
-Piranha, your standard fake creature horror film.
-Jackass 3, its just more Jackass, and therefore fucking hilarious
-Harry Potter 7i. Nuff said.
Anyway, talk soon.
x
Basically you all fucked off, apart from Hatty.
Anyway children, if you're sitting quietly, i'll bore you senseless.
xbox lovers, i'm sure you've all already heard but Halo: Reach comes out later this year. Hatty's like drooling right now. Yeah, i've seen the reviews and it looks fucking awesome. They say its the final battle, so i'm sure its going to be fucking amazing.
Of course, the other 2 big games coming out for xbox, as well for a few other platforms are the big assassins creed: brotherhood, (basically i cum a little bit everytime i hear its name) and the mighty Fable: III which microsoft finally decided to allow to all the good normal PC users. (They may also make a Mac version so fuck you all you gaydow whores.)
Other big game coming out is CoD: Black Ops, the follow up to CoD 6, which we all loved. Again, coming out for Christmas, as with all the ones above.
Another game that looks fucking awesome is Mafia II, looks a little bit like a godfather game. Again they look great.
Max Payne 3 looks to be another game that you'll want to play.
And of course theres the good old fashioned Fifa 11. A game that just kicks ass.
And Wii is shit. Sucks to be you Andrew. Haha.
BAsically, this xmas is going to be fucking awesome.
I'm gonna drop a movie review at some point.
But a quick one now
-The Expendables, all the best action figures in one film, everyman will have a mangasm.
-Piranha, your standard fake creature horror film.
-Jackass 3, its just more Jackass, and therefore fucking hilarious
-Harry Potter 7i. Nuff said.
Anyway, talk soon.
x
Monday, 9 August 2010
Moments of hilarity
Sup?
Its been a while. A long long while.
I did write one of these yesterday and was nearly done but got rid of it when i realised that i didn't want it up, so i got rid of it.
Sucks to me that blog post.
Anyway.
Just as an ask, i may have already asked you fools, but please, please please please start using spotify. Just do it. Don't ask me why. Just do it.
Do it and i'll love you..... physically...... and repeatedly...... until one of us dies.....not really..... unless you want to, i'm totally ok with that.
Cheers guys.
I'm not really in the mood for this, but i'm gonna do it.
Its just a bit shit, but oh well.
Anyway, america is good, i'm tired, and im also very lonely and don't look to be getting any women anytime soon. It seems my parents lied to me.
Lets go to captiva, theres loads of nightlife.
utter bull...... unless you're a paedophile.
Speaking of which my dad made me laugh in a shop today. It was a publix, and we were buying milk and mountain dew, some guy walks past with a kid in the trolley, my dad wips out, 'hey man, where can i get me one of those beauties?'. The guy practically ran away. I nearly died with laughter. Best fucking thing i've heard in a longtime.
Then on the way home we see a truck with about a hundred watermelons in the back. We drive past, its being driven by a very black guy whose smiling for no reason.
i've also seen the perfect red-neck on this holiday as well. Guy with long brown hair, cowboy hat, a few missing fingers, missing teeth, ripped jeans, white t-shirt with a nascar vehicle on it, and the brown boots with a small heel.
I nearly died of laughter. He also spoke like a red-neck which made it fucking brilliant.
But yeah, its fucking humid hear. like stupidly so. Its killing me. I'm probably sheding 100 calories a day just standing in the heat. If you can't guess how i'm doing that then you're a retard.
Ad yeah, its 10 days till results day. I'm bricking myself, but i wish all my friends luck, and i wish all my enemies a slow painful death. But yeah, i'm pretty sure i've failed, thanks to rugby, and i hope they give me a motherfucking refund for the last 2 years, and if you need me, i'll be in leamington college, or i'll have fucked off to italy to try and make a life, or i'll have joined the army. So in 20 days time, ask me what i'm doing next year, because i don't know, and i'm quite nervous about it. Still, fuck it. Theres nothing i can do about it. i tried, my school fucked me up, and thats ok.
I also wish that love was a little bit like it was in movies, but its not. I'm not going to find anyone and we're not going to sail into the sunset. Love doesn't happen just at first sight, which sucks. I'm never gonna find anyone, and its hardly surprising. It seems all i can do is flounder. Continue to try as hard as possible. But i'm terrible at relationships, always have been. Its because i'm a passively overpowering douchebag. When i'm seeing someone i have a tendency to smother them, because thats how stupid i am.
I also wish to tell people that america is a backwards country, and that their beers are all shit. I mean really shit. Really really shit. They need to make them better. Much better.
Their cheese and sausages are also very bad.
As is their chocolate.
Damn americans.
Anyway, i'm taking at least 2 beautiful girls out when i get back to the uk. One is an old friend, one is a new one. I need to get a present for one, its her 18th and i should really get her something nice, but im not sure what. Now what would an 18 year old girl want? :P
For the new friend, i think i may buy tulips. They have always made me think of change, and i've a little bit of dutch in me. And they're nicer than roses. Roses only come out on the 4th date.
It usually runs
1. Tulips
2. Chocolates
3. Either sweet bon-bons, or Fussiers
4. Roses.
I've never got past stage 2.
I'm just a sucker for buying presents. Especailly flowers, i love them, they're buy far the nicest thing anyone can buy. Perhaps my friend would like some flowers for her birthday? There is a great shop in rugby that sells them. No, i think i've made my mind up on what she's getting. And while it may not be much, i hope it remains as a symbol. Because symbols are more important than anything else in this life.
You think i'm wrong, look around you, everything has a symbol. Everything. Everything from religion, to fast food stores, from huge corporate companies, to simple family quests. But its the truth, everything has a symhol, and people make symbols for each other. Because that is the way it is, and always will be.
Tout.
And i'm going to try and learn italian.
And then you can all be amazed by my amazing bi lingual skills :)
Anyway, i'm going to go get some sleep.
Hopefully i'll feel better about my impeding failures soon.
x
Its been a while. A long long while.
I did write one of these yesterday and was nearly done but got rid of it when i realised that i didn't want it up, so i got rid of it.
Sucks to me that blog post.
Anyway.
Just as an ask, i may have already asked you fools, but please, please please please start using spotify. Just do it. Don't ask me why. Just do it.
Do it and i'll love you..... physically...... and repeatedly...... until one of us dies.....not really..... unless you want to, i'm totally ok with that.
Cheers guys.
I'm not really in the mood for this, but i'm gonna do it.
Its just a bit shit, but oh well.
Anyway, america is good, i'm tired, and im also very lonely and don't look to be getting any women anytime soon. It seems my parents lied to me.
Lets go to captiva, theres loads of nightlife.
utter bull...... unless you're a paedophile.
Speaking of which my dad made me laugh in a shop today. It was a publix, and we were buying milk and mountain dew, some guy walks past with a kid in the trolley, my dad wips out, 'hey man, where can i get me one of those beauties?'. The guy practically ran away. I nearly died with laughter. Best fucking thing i've heard in a longtime.
Then on the way home we see a truck with about a hundred watermelons in the back. We drive past, its being driven by a very black guy whose smiling for no reason.
i've also seen the perfect red-neck on this holiday as well. Guy with long brown hair, cowboy hat, a few missing fingers, missing teeth, ripped jeans, white t-shirt with a nascar vehicle on it, and the brown boots with a small heel.
I nearly died of laughter. He also spoke like a red-neck which made it fucking brilliant.
But yeah, its fucking humid hear. like stupidly so. Its killing me. I'm probably sheding 100 calories a day just standing in the heat. If you can't guess how i'm doing that then you're a retard.
Ad yeah, its 10 days till results day. I'm bricking myself, but i wish all my friends luck, and i wish all my enemies a slow painful death. But yeah, i'm pretty sure i've failed, thanks to rugby, and i hope they give me a motherfucking refund for the last 2 years, and if you need me, i'll be in leamington college, or i'll have fucked off to italy to try and make a life, or i'll have joined the army. So in 20 days time, ask me what i'm doing next year, because i don't know, and i'm quite nervous about it. Still, fuck it. Theres nothing i can do about it. i tried, my school fucked me up, and thats ok.
I also wish that love was a little bit like it was in movies, but its not. I'm not going to find anyone and we're not going to sail into the sunset. Love doesn't happen just at first sight, which sucks. I'm never gonna find anyone, and its hardly surprising. It seems all i can do is flounder. Continue to try as hard as possible. But i'm terrible at relationships, always have been. Its because i'm a passively overpowering douchebag. When i'm seeing someone i have a tendency to smother them, because thats how stupid i am.
I also wish to tell people that america is a backwards country, and that their beers are all shit. I mean really shit. Really really shit. They need to make them better. Much better.
Their cheese and sausages are also very bad.
As is their chocolate.
Damn americans.
Anyway, i'm taking at least 2 beautiful girls out when i get back to the uk. One is an old friend, one is a new one. I need to get a present for one, its her 18th and i should really get her something nice, but im not sure what. Now what would an 18 year old girl want? :P
For the new friend, i think i may buy tulips. They have always made me think of change, and i've a little bit of dutch in me. And they're nicer than roses. Roses only come out on the 4th date.
It usually runs
1. Tulips
2. Chocolates
3. Either sweet bon-bons, or Fussiers
4. Roses.
I've never got past stage 2.
I'm just a sucker for buying presents. Especailly flowers, i love them, they're buy far the nicest thing anyone can buy. Perhaps my friend would like some flowers for her birthday? There is a great shop in rugby that sells them. No, i think i've made my mind up on what she's getting. And while it may not be much, i hope it remains as a symbol. Because symbols are more important than anything else in this life.
You think i'm wrong, look around you, everything has a symbol. Everything. Everything from religion, to fast food stores, from huge corporate companies, to simple family quests. But its the truth, everything has a symhol, and people make symbols for each other. Because that is the way it is, and always will be.
Tout.
And i'm going to try and learn italian.
And then you can all be amazed by my amazing bi lingual skills :)
Anyway, i'm going to go get some sleep.
Hopefully i'll feel better about my impeding failures soon.
x
Wednesday, 4 August 2010
note: carousel couches use underdog drowning reunion resorts
Hey Jack it's me,
I don't mean to bother you but somethings been on my mind.
At the end of this road that climbs the horizon will be reached in a matter of miles.
And when the wheels cease to spin the walls and the fences will grow higher than redwood trees.
And I know your demise.
And I fear what will happen when the road fails to flow under me.
Oh Jack you see, I felt like your mirror with the wind whipping through my hair.
When the wheels ceased to spin and I cased my surroundings, I realized I hadn't gone anywhere.
When the problems I'd left with couches in alleys, where no one would ever claim.
And the hardest part was sifting through the pieces of the rain soaked and rotten remains when I got home.
Song lyrics
Fucking great song. Couches in allies by styrofoam. Please, go find it on itunes or youtube before you continue reading, and when it runs out, play it again. Its the perfect song for what i'm about to write.
I'm sure you guys all do this, but i've just been reading all my, you're a twat emails from a few former people that i have either been with, or that i've wanted to be with.
Its also made me remember friends i've not spoken to in a little while. There's a few people i miss, who i just want to talk to be friends like we used to be. Again i need to thank, well you know who you are, you've made me realise that perhaps i should remember my old friends before i look to start brand new one's.
I dunno.
Andrew, not sure if you're gonna read this mate, but i definitely think we should hit either nice or buenos aires in october. Would be fucking awesome. We can take your speakers, and find some awesome bars, and some girls, you know where this is going amigo. Lovely latina girls.
Innit.
And once again, my foot hurts, i have destroyed my toe.
Anyway, i'm gonna see what happens.
I never did do that apologies session, i think i might do that now.
To Elizabeth Jamieson,
I'm terribly sorry, i know you think that i am a hideous person, and i know im a bastard, and i know i don't deserve George's friendship. I'm an arsehole.
(That one's an old one)
To Catherine Sullivan,
I'm sorry for what i did to you. And i'm sorry that i ruined one of your friendships. And i'm sorry that i didn't listen to you. I should have just kept my mouth shut and pretended that i didn't happen. You're a great person, and by getting with you, i ruined our friendship.
To Sarah Stewart,
I do dumb stuff when i'm drunk. That includes sending emails to you saying i like you.... a lot. I may have scared you off, and i wouldn't be surprised. And i'm sorry that i tried to get with you. I'm a fool, and i scared you away, probably with a little bit of help from some of your friends who are less friendly to me.
To Lucy Oliver,
I'm a twat, a massive cunt. And i should have just fallen for you when you fell for me. Its not like i planned to get with Catherine, or to really like Emma, its just that i did. I'm sorry that i couldn't give you what you wanted. And i know that seeing me almost everyday was hard for you. I'm a fool, and i don't deserve to live because of how badly i fucked with you.
To Emma Sweet,
haha. This is going to be a long one he says to himself. I should probably just dive straight in. You meant everything to me, and you know that. I sat up and spoke to you almost everynight for a year because i honestly felt something could happen between us. And i told you you were beautiful, and i told you that no one, not a single person on this planet can tell you otherwise, because i just told you that you were. You made me believe in myself, and i've changed my mind. There were once 3 things that i wanted for you, and i said number 3, a kiss, was what i wanted most. But i've changed my mind. What i want most is for you to be more confident in yourself. You're a beautiful person, both inside, and outside. And anyone who says otherwise is blind. You have my heart, you always had my heart, and you probably always will have a piece of it. I miss you. I think about you everyday. You're the best and next year is going to be an uphill battle for me. Whether its a uni, or doing something else, you will always be on my mind. You were the first person i say when i finished my exams, and i just wanted to run up and hug you, and hold you. You mean everything to me and i've realised that that was an emotion i've been feeling for you for a long time. However, i must let you go. There is a better man for you than this washed up dickhead.
To George Style,
Sup man. Long time no speak. I'm sorry that i said them horrible things to you, i don't deserve your friendship, as Libby was fast to point out. You're a good man, and i thank you for introducing me to new friends at the beginning of the year. You're a good man, and i'm going to miss you.
There are others that i should apologize to, but i honestly don't want to with them. They either fucked me over, or its so far in the past that i feel that perhaps its not worth it. I also know that i'm probably never going to talk to them again so it doesn't matter.
To Charlotte Wildblood,
I know i've angered you before, and i know that i've hurt you before, and that we've only really lashed out at each other once properly before, over George coincidently, but you know what, i'm sorry for that, and for anything bad i ever did to you. You're like the little sister i'd rather have. I mean i love the one i do have, but i'd rather have you as one. No offence to her.
To Jessica Groocock,
Didn't think i'd forget you did you? :)
I'm sorry if i've made any of you're current relationships awkward. I took me a little while lastnight to come to agree with you're judgement, but its ok, i accept it, and i hope we will meet again one day.
To Kelly Nicholson,
You're in Vietnam, but i'm sorry that i was a total douchebag the few times we met up, i genuinely liked you, and when we met up i only went and got pissed. I'm not a pisshead, honest.
To Hatty Giles,
I'm sorry that i dropped off the radar for a few years, and that i tried to get with you. If i'd known then you know i wouldn't have done. And i was a little embarrassing for me, i'd not realised that simply me attempting to get with a woman could turn her homosexual, just shows how good a kisser i am. You did however prove just how shallow i am, for which i thank you.
To Bella Ruffell,
Kiss me its Christmas actually seemed to work. I'm sorry that i didn't make more of an effort to get some stability between you and me, i like you, and you're one of my best friends, and perhaps it wouldn't have been for the best. But im still sorry that i got with you, i think you were seeing someone, and i know that the only person for you is Jack..... or Edward, and therefore i'm sorry that i complicated you're life.
Shit, thats quite a lot.
To Natasha Evans,
You probably haven't guessed but i was talking about you above, i miss you, we havent spoken for ages and i really enjoyed the time we spent together. When we built the snowman, and stood in the rain and waited for your taxi, and discussed basic differentiation because your previous school was full of retards. I'm sorry that i've let our relationship crumble, these exams have sort of stopped me having a social life, and its sucked not seeing you. I mean i know where i find you.... New car park, most lunchbreaks/game times. Predictable Tash. But yeah, i'm sorry that our friendship has deteriorated as it has. I should have built the foundations stronger, and for that i'm eternally sorry.
To Olivia Griffiths,
I'm sorry that i offended you, even if you were and are one of my greatest supporters. You're a great friend, and i'm goin to miss you, i think one of the reasons that we gelled is taht oddly enough, you're doing the same uni course that my dad did, media at Goldsmiths. Great minds. But i'm sorry i offended you.
To Abby Barber,
I'm sor..... fuck that, you're a massive bitch and i hope you rot in hell you child rapist.
Having apologized, i have now changed song, that last one was fucking awesome, but i'm now listening to papa roach, last resort, so everything is looking a little better.
This song, and Ezio's family by Jesper Kyd are fucking amazing. And the later i want played at my funeral, because i'm that fucking awesome.
Anyway, i feel so much better having done that. But honestly i'm truly sorry to all of you that i've hurt, and i'm sorry to all those who i haven't mentioned above for fucking your lives up. Its not really what i generally try to do, i just do sometimes.
I've realised that theres someone i've missed. Mainly because i'm listening to the wrong songs.
To Annabel Ottilie Lloyd-Thomas,
One word describes me. Or one word should. Complete and utter cunt. You should laugh at me, for how i faunted myself. How i made myself look like a fool infront of you, how i fucked your life up. How i made problems for you, how i pretended to be someone i wasn't just to impress you. You saw through my fakeness. And i fear that we will never see one another again. Hardly surprising really. I'm a total cunt like that and i don't really deserve the friends that i have. I remember you sitting on my knee and playing on my phone. I miss those days. And i'm the fool that will have to pay for them. I could use somebody, someone like you.
If you've not got the song yet, check the lable, and the title, and if you still don't have it. Then you're fucking stupid.
Back to Tillie. Yeah, i'm sorry. You deserve better than me, and you have done better than me.
Yep, i feel a little better now.
(George and Tillie, i hope to not offend either of you, put in Charlie pulls a stunt like what he did that one time, then i'm going to break his pretty little jaw before knocking the cunt unconsious.)
(And Pete, stop hating me, i only threatened to you once, that doesn't mean you should be a pussy about it).
That ruined the moment. But then, i am listening to MCR now, so its hardly surprising!
Its taken me nearly an hour to write this fucker!
I love no word limits.
Anyway, thats the apology section sorted, no doubt i'll do another one at some point. Because i can.
I may also be requiring a few favours from my readers in the next few days. I'm quite tempted to see how big i can make this fucker. See how many readers i can get, how many people i can get reading this. Not yet, but i may have to ask some of you to give my address out to some friends who've never met me, and to see what happens. I know this is shameless plugging for views, but i honestly don't care anymore. I might be able to make a little money off this, and if you do me good, i'll shove some in your direction. I alraedy have a holiday to argentina to raise funds for, and following last week i may need to get some money together for another year in captiva. As well as uni and all that (if i get in).
Which i doubt.
Anyway, its 2.30am, i should probably get some sleep, im getting up in 4.30 hours, and if my dream is anything like lastnights, then i should have been asleep hours ago.
But before i go, there's just enough time for carousel by blink 182, personally i prefer the buddha version, the accoustic guitar at the beginning kicks ass.
OM MY GOD, THATS SOME FUNKY SHIT - Kittiah.
And before you all bugger off this page, i'd just like to add, that i love you all, and even though tiredness is now in control of my hands, i still hope all of you do well in your exams, and that you'll forgive me for being the massive cunt that i am.
You got to remember, that if it wasn't me being a massive cunt, it'd be someone else. Probably Arthur Thomas. I hate that guy, now he is a massive cunt. I'm going to kill that bastard one day. Or if not that at least break his jaw. He is a massive cunt. a massive ass cunt. Speaking of these people, the kid who thinks that everyone loves him, hugh johnson-gilbert decided to delete me from his facebook friends list. The main reason for this is because i punched him in the jaw at leavers ball doing some damage. I don't know what it is, but school field really does seem to be a great house for breeding total arseholes in. Its true, with both Arthur, and Hugh, or as im going to call them. Cunt 1, and cunt 2, this house seems to be a hive, it creates cunts, its like a cunt breeding machine. As as Team America taught me, and thanks to something Tash once told me, i have the power to fuck these cunts, because i am male, and therefore, by definition, can't help being a dick. hah. So i say that, at this reunion in september, that anyone who is eligible for going, basically me a george, we should get stacked this holiday, i have started, you may wish to, and then fuck those shitbags right over at this reunion thing in september, and if they don't come, then we will have succeeded in 2 ways, 1 they will have left without fighting, showing they are cowards, and 2. We'll be stacked. Everyone loves stacked guys.
Fucking foolproof.
And thats about it.
I'm no longer in Captiva, i'm in Orlando, fun times. and basically that means, i'm going to continue to be fucking awesome.
This is were i used to say i love you all, but basically, i don't. I'm now going to change this to, Arthur Thomas and Hugh Johnson-Gilbert are cunts.
Arthur Thomas and Hugh Johnson-Gilbert are cunts.
x
I don't mean to bother you but somethings been on my mind.
At the end of this road that climbs the horizon will be reached in a matter of miles.
And when the wheels cease to spin the walls and the fences will grow higher than redwood trees.
And I know your demise.
And I fear what will happen when the road fails to flow under me.
Oh Jack you see, I felt like your mirror with the wind whipping through my hair.
When the wheels ceased to spin and I cased my surroundings, I realized I hadn't gone anywhere.
When the problems I'd left with couches in alleys, where no one would ever claim.
And the hardest part was sifting through the pieces of the rain soaked and rotten remains when I got home.
Song lyrics
Fucking great song. Couches in allies by styrofoam. Please, go find it on itunes or youtube before you continue reading, and when it runs out, play it again. Its the perfect song for what i'm about to write.
I'm sure you guys all do this, but i've just been reading all my, you're a twat emails from a few former people that i have either been with, or that i've wanted to be with.
Its also made me remember friends i've not spoken to in a little while. There's a few people i miss, who i just want to talk to be friends like we used to be. Again i need to thank, well you know who you are, you've made me realise that perhaps i should remember my old friends before i look to start brand new one's.
I dunno.
Andrew, not sure if you're gonna read this mate, but i definitely think we should hit either nice or buenos aires in october. Would be fucking awesome. We can take your speakers, and find some awesome bars, and some girls, you know where this is going amigo. Lovely latina girls.
Innit.
And once again, my foot hurts, i have destroyed my toe.
Anyway, i'm gonna see what happens.
I never did do that apologies session, i think i might do that now.
To Elizabeth Jamieson,
I'm terribly sorry, i know you think that i am a hideous person, and i know im a bastard, and i know i don't deserve George's friendship. I'm an arsehole.
(That one's an old one)
To Catherine Sullivan,
I'm sorry for what i did to you. And i'm sorry that i ruined one of your friendships. And i'm sorry that i didn't listen to you. I should have just kept my mouth shut and pretended that i didn't happen. You're a great person, and by getting with you, i ruined our friendship.
To Sarah Stewart,
I do dumb stuff when i'm drunk. That includes sending emails to you saying i like you.... a lot. I may have scared you off, and i wouldn't be surprised. And i'm sorry that i tried to get with you. I'm a fool, and i scared you away, probably with a little bit of help from some of your friends who are less friendly to me.
To Lucy Oliver,
I'm a twat, a massive cunt. And i should have just fallen for you when you fell for me. Its not like i planned to get with Catherine, or to really like Emma, its just that i did. I'm sorry that i couldn't give you what you wanted. And i know that seeing me almost everyday was hard for you. I'm a fool, and i don't deserve to live because of how badly i fucked with you.
To Emma Sweet,
haha. This is going to be a long one he says to himself. I should probably just dive straight in. You meant everything to me, and you know that. I sat up and spoke to you almost everynight for a year because i honestly felt something could happen between us. And i told you you were beautiful, and i told you that no one, not a single person on this planet can tell you otherwise, because i just told you that you were. You made me believe in myself, and i've changed my mind. There were once 3 things that i wanted for you, and i said number 3, a kiss, was what i wanted most. But i've changed my mind. What i want most is for you to be more confident in yourself. You're a beautiful person, both inside, and outside. And anyone who says otherwise is blind. You have my heart, you always had my heart, and you probably always will have a piece of it. I miss you. I think about you everyday. You're the best and next year is going to be an uphill battle for me. Whether its a uni, or doing something else, you will always be on my mind. You were the first person i say when i finished my exams, and i just wanted to run up and hug you, and hold you. You mean everything to me and i've realised that that was an emotion i've been feeling for you for a long time. However, i must let you go. There is a better man for you than this washed up dickhead.
To George Style,
Sup man. Long time no speak. I'm sorry that i said them horrible things to you, i don't deserve your friendship, as Libby was fast to point out. You're a good man, and i thank you for introducing me to new friends at the beginning of the year. You're a good man, and i'm going to miss you.
There are others that i should apologize to, but i honestly don't want to with them. They either fucked me over, or its so far in the past that i feel that perhaps its not worth it. I also know that i'm probably never going to talk to them again so it doesn't matter.
To Charlotte Wildblood,
I know i've angered you before, and i know that i've hurt you before, and that we've only really lashed out at each other once properly before, over George coincidently, but you know what, i'm sorry for that, and for anything bad i ever did to you. You're like the little sister i'd rather have. I mean i love the one i do have, but i'd rather have you as one. No offence to her.
To Jessica Groocock,
Didn't think i'd forget you did you? :)
I'm sorry if i've made any of you're current relationships awkward. I took me a little while lastnight to come to agree with you're judgement, but its ok, i accept it, and i hope we will meet again one day.
To Kelly Nicholson,
You're in Vietnam, but i'm sorry that i was a total douchebag the few times we met up, i genuinely liked you, and when we met up i only went and got pissed. I'm not a pisshead, honest.
To Hatty Giles,
I'm sorry that i dropped off the radar for a few years, and that i tried to get with you. If i'd known then you know i wouldn't have done. And i was a little embarrassing for me, i'd not realised that simply me attempting to get with a woman could turn her homosexual, just shows how good a kisser i am. You did however prove just how shallow i am, for which i thank you.
To Bella Ruffell,
Kiss me its Christmas actually seemed to work. I'm sorry that i didn't make more of an effort to get some stability between you and me, i like you, and you're one of my best friends, and perhaps it wouldn't have been for the best. But im still sorry that i got with you, i think you were seeing someone, and i know that the only person for you is Jack..... or Edward, and therefore i'm sorry that i complicated you're life.
Shit, thats quite a lot.
To Natasha Evans,
You probably haven't guessed but i was talking about you above, i miss you, we havent spoken for ages and i really enjoyed the time we spent together. When we built the snowman, and stood in the rain and waited for your taxi, and discussed basic differentiation because your previous school was full of retards. I'm sorry that i've let our relationship crumble, these exams have sort of stopped me having a social life, and its sucked not seeing you. I mean i know where i find you.... New car park, most lunchbreaks/game times. Predictable Tash. But yeah, i'm sorry that our friendship has deteriorated as it has. I should have built the foundations stronger, and for that i'm eternally sorry.
To Olivia Griffiths,
I'm sorry that i offended you, even if you were and are one of my greatest supporters. You're a great friend, and i'm goin to miss you, i think one of the reasons that we gelled is taht oddly enough, you're doing the same uni course that my dad did, media at Goldsmiths. Great minds. But i'm sorry i offended you.
To Abby Barber,
I'm sor..... fuck that, you're a massive bitch and i hope you rot in hell you child rapist.
Having apologized, i have now changed song, that last one was fucking awesome, but i'm now listening to papa roach, last resort, so everything is looking a little better.
This song, and Ezio's family by Jesper Kyd are fucking amazing. And the later i want played at my funeral, because i'm that fucking awesome.
Anyway, i feel so much better having done that. But honestly i'm truly sorry to all of you that i've hurt, and i'm sorry to all those who i haven't mentioned above for fucking your lives up. Its not really what i generally try to do, i just do sometimes.
I've realised that theres someone i've missed. Mainly because i'm listening to the wrong songs.
To Annabel Ottilie Lloyd-Thomas,
One word describes me. Or one word should. Complete and utter cunt. You should laugh at me, for how i faunted myself. How i made myself look like a fool infront of you, how i fucked your life up. How i made problems for you, how i pretended to be someone i wasn't just to impress you. You saw through my fakeness. And i fear that we will never see one another again. Hardly surprising really. I'm a total cunt like that and i don't really deserve the friends that i have. I remember you sitting on my knee and playing on my phone. I miss those days. And i'm the fool that will have to pay for them. I could use somebody, someone like you.
If you've not got the song yet, check the lable, and the title, and if you still don't have it. Then you're fucking stupid.
Back to Tillie. Yeah, i'm sorry. You deserve better than me, and you have done better than me.
Yep, i feel a little better now.
(George and Tillie, i hope to not offend either of you, put in Charlie pulls a stunt like what he did that one time, then i'm going to break his pretty little jaw before knocking the cunt unconsious.)
(And Pete, stop hating me, i only threatened to you once, that doesn't mean you should be a pussy about it).
That ruined the moment. But then, i am listening to MCR now, so its hardly surprising!
Its taken me nearly an hour to write this fucker!
I love no word limits.
Anyway, thats the apology section sorted, no doubt i'll do another one at some point. Because i can.
I may also be requiring a few favours from my readers in the next few days. I'm quite tempted to see how big i can make this fucker. See how many readers i can get, how many people i can get reading this. Not yet, but i may have to ask some of you to give my address out to some friends who've never met me, and to see what happens. I know this is shameless plugging for views, but i honestly don't care anymore. I might be able to make a little money off this, and if you do me good, i'll shove some in your direction. I alraedy have a holiday to argentina to raise funds for, and following last week i may need to get some money together for another year in captiva. As well as uni and all that (if i get in).
Which i doubt.
Anyway, its 2.30am, i should probably get some sleep, im getting up in 4.30 hours, and if my dream is anything like lastnights, then i should have been asleep hours ago.
But before i go, there's just enough time for carousel by blink 182, personally i prefer the buddha version, the accoustic guitar at the beginning kicks ass.
OM MY GOD, THATS SOME FUNKY SHIT - Kittiah.
And before you all bugger off this page, i'd just like to add, that i love you all, and even though tiredness is now in control of my hands, i still hope all of you do well in your exams, and that you'll forgive me for being the massive cunt that i am.
You got to remember, that if it wasn't me being a massive cunt, it'd be someone else. Probably Arthur Thomas. I hate that guy, now he is a massive cunt. I'm going to kill that bastard one day. Or if not that at least break his jaw. He is a massive cunt. a massive ass cunt. Speaking of these people, the kid who thinks that everyone loves him, hugh johnson-gilbert decided to delete me from his facebook friends list. The main reason for this is because i punched him in the jaw at leavers ball doing some damage. I don't know what it is, but school field really does seem to be a great house for breeding total arseholes in. Its true, with both Arthur, and Hugh, or as im going to call them. Cunt 1, and cunt 2, this house seems to be a hive, it creates cunts, its like a cunt breeding machine. As as Team America taught me, and thanks to something Tash once told me, i have the power to fuck these cunts, because i am male, and therefore, by definition, can't help being a dick. hah. So i say that, at this reunion in september, that anyone who is eligible for going, basically me a george, we should get stacked this holiday, i have started, you may wish to, and then fuck those shitbags right over at this reunion thing in september, and if they don't come, then we will have succeeded in 2 ways, 1 they will have left without fighting, showing they are cowards, and 2. We'll be stacked. Everyone loves stacked guys.
Fucking foolproof.
And thats about it.
I'm no longer in Captiva, i'm in Orlando, fun times. and basically that means, i'm going to continue to be fucking awesome.
This is were i used to say i love you all, but basically, i don't. I'm now going to change this to, Arthur Thomas and Hugh Johnson-Gilbert are cunts.
Arthur Thomas and Hugh Johnson-Gilbert are cunts.
x
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