Going away to college

Please take me by the hand
It's so cold out tonight
I'll put blankets on the bed
I won't turn out the light
Just don't forget to think about me
And I won't forget you
I'll write you once a week she said

Why does it feel the same
To fall in love or break it off
And if young love is just a game
Then I must have missed the kick off
Don't depend on me to ever follow through on anything
But I'd go through hell for you and

[Chorus:]
I haven't been this scared in a long time
And I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine
Bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody
This world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me

I'll think about the times
She kissed me after class
And she put up with my friends
I acted like an ass
I'd ditch my lecture to watch the girls play soccer
Is my picture still hanging in her locker?

[Chorus x2]


Thats the blink 182 song going away to college. Some of it is rather apt. I mean, i honestly haven't been this scared in a long time. And i am really unprepared. It just made me realise again that i'm so scared for tomorrow. I haven't done anything like this before. And i know that some of my readers are out there now, living away from home and have got all of this sorted. My friends who are at boarding schools will already know all of this, they know what to look for. But i don't. I'm honestly petrified. And i watched a programme in the week about these 8 year olds who can do it. But i'm so scared. How did these kids do it, and why can't i? Is it that i'm gonna miss my home, or that i'm going to miss my family or that i'm doing to miss my friends, or something else? I know that it'll be great when i get there. But now its just petrifying. Its just this last few hours. And what if i don't like it? I can't leave! Gods help me.

So fucking nervous i want to scream. Cry. But then im so excited that i want to smile, i want to hug someone. I want to jump up and down.

I think that this might be a blog that has more to it than just me being nervous. So im gonna open my heart again. Lottie, it was great to see you on Tuesday. I wish i could see you more than i do. I'll come back and see you. I promise. I hope you enjoy the impromptu birthday present. And i hope that you do really well in this years studies and your exams. I know you'll do well. But if you for some unthinkable reason you don't, then i'll be here for you. I'll let you come stay at mine, i'll drop out so that you can have my place. You mean the world to me. xxxx
Emma it was also good to see you the other day, i'm sorry that i was high. Its also been great to talk to you recently. I missed not talking to you this holiday, but i think it probably did us both good. I think that i means you can now trust me, and i can now not be a total doochebag. You showed me that you think you can now trust me. And i think that i can now trust me. Good luck this year. You deserve to do well, and im sure that you'll ace your exams. And the same applies as above.

There are others, but i just took a while out.

My dad just played some pool with me. He won. But its cool. I'm gonna miss being able to do that. Just play some pool against my dad. Sucks.

Oh well. Nerves are a good thing. I've met all my roommates which is nice :)

Lottie call me tomorrow night please, i want to hear you, i hope you can calm me.

Anyway,
Goodnight, tomorrow is a new dawn, and the new start of my life. A door is open, im just nervous to step through it.

Wish me luck
x